To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Let's paint friendship bongs
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
