she looked like the bat from fern gully.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
There's even glitter on my cock...
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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