I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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