I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
