ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
