Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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