im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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