I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
