Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize