ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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