im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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