thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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