Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
