Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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