How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
