Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He better not be in your backpack
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
