saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize