Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
