my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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