I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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