I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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