so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
she peed on how many people?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
