apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
