So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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