She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
