this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
