He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
