i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
