woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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