Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
