Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
