I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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