How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Randomize
