Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
