we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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