Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize