But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
