if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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