We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He better not be in your backpack
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
