That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
