I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
