margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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