I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I did not marry a roomba.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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