It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
