Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
