every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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