He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
