Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
These tits shall not be calmed
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
