did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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