THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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