Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Randomize
