It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize