That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
