Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
