remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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