So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
