Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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