Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
