That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
