I think I am morally bankrupt
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize